I have been trying to write, but nowhere near NaNoWriMo standards. Somehow I just completely lost the motivation.

As for drawing stuff, I gave myself a little bit of a break working on projects to do something silly and just for me...which means you will get a completely ridiculous and fully colored Bleach Meme in your inbox within a few days. As for the rest of the drawings I must finish by the end of the year: "I Crudeli" and Harry Potter commission from ~tinkthespike top that list. Not to mention that I'm redesigning my mom's website and any other day job projects that come along. Anyway, things are moving, but slowly.


Saturday mid-morning I got a phone call from my mom saying that my Great Aunt (and surrogate grandmother) had suddenly passed away. She had a minor stroke a few weeks before that, but was recovering, and very well at that. Even in the morning's nurse's rounds, she was doing fine and chipper. But a few hours later, she crashed.

On Monday, my bf and I took the dogs and drove the 5.5 hours it takes to get to where my family lives. My brother arrived by plane that evening. Tuesday morning we went to the graveside funeral to the same place where the rest of the Japanese side of my family is buried. The pastor (though I wanted to call him "Padre") said several nice words, but his overtly thick Spanish accent nearly made me laugh out loud at the irony of the situation. Nevertheless, seeing my cousin -- and eldest of the grandchildren by my Great Aunt -- bawling on my mom's shoulder was hard to watch. I couldn't even bring myself to say hello to my Great Uncle because every time I imagined myself going over there, I started to well up. He sat in the front row, hunched over as his daughters kept their hands wrapped around his elderly frail body. But afterward, he sat with us at the memorial luncheon and kept his appetite up, which pleased my dad -- whom he thinks of as a son.

I hadn't cried at a funeral in years, not to say that I'm insensitive, but I've been to a lot of funerals in my lifetime -- too many almost. But this one I had to let things out. I lost both of my grandparents on my dad's side at the ages of 6 and 12, and on my mom's side - never knew the granddad, and granny lost her mind to Alzheimer's around that same age. My Great Aunt and Uncle stepped in as the role of grandparents for me and my brother. Though our only relation was through marriage (my Grandpa's sister married my Great Uncle's brother) -- we were always family, a regular guest for Thanksgiving and Christmas dinner. My concern now is that since his wife of 62 years has passed, my Great Uncle at over 90-years-old will not be far behind.

When that happens, it will most likely be the end of days spent making wontons the day after Christmas, swindling my cousins out of their $5 from penny-ante poker games, and sitting on the covered swing overlooking the pond outside their house, with fresh orange pulp soaking my sticky fingers. On that day, I will have fond memories of playing in the old Japanese gardens outside their house, irritating cows, and trying to catch the koi fish that lived in the inside/outside pond. Always my favorite house to visit, and always some of my favorite elders to spend time with.

They are, and always will be, family.


_{If you read all that, I commend you!
Thanks for listening to my slightly poetic babble.}


HP Commission for ~tinkthespike
"I Crudeli" Doujin collab with ~jasotheartisan
(IN PROGRESS) REDUX
Hollow Mariko from "Sideways"
"Guns of Karakura" group shot
"Maelstrom" scene for ~Jazzpha
devID for ~Bleach-Writers-Unite